Are you doing it for real, or for show?
On weddings, branding, and the pressure to look put together.
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I just got back from a gorgeous wedding. Weddings are always gorgeous. They kind of have to be…because we’ve raised an entire $65-ish billion industry on the idea that a wedding should look and feel a certain way. We’ve gotten so, so, so good at weddings. And society has made sure that we all feel obligated to have one.
As soon as one wedding ends, the question becomes: who’s next? Usually, the heads turn to me and Alyssa. You are next! Your wedding will be amazing. We will dance so hard!!! (To which, I always think: since when do we need a wedding to cut loose and dance? I dance all the time!! Maybe we all just need to party more.)
What is a wedding if not just an obligatory party with some pageantry?
That question felt extra relevant, especially because I’ve had two oddly similar conversations with friends recently, about the pressure to seem put together, to look and act like a brand. Not just to be a freelancer or creator or small business owner, but to look like a legitimate one. And it had me thinking about the obligation many of us feel to put our ideas out there. Not just to make things, but to make sure that other people know we’re making things. To be visible. To be notable. The pageantry is real.
If you’re feeling like you should be doing more (posting, launching, building an online presence) this is for you. There’s a difference between doing something because it’s expected and doing it because it’s meaningful. But in an era of constant visibility and performed legitimacy, it’s getting harder and harder to tell the two apart.